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XelaWho by Issue

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June 2006: Xela’s Revolving Door Keeps Spinning

“Living” in a tourist town like Xela is weird. One of the great things is always making new friends – the flip side being constantly saying goodbye to old ones.

This endless hello/goodbye is, of course, an excellent excuse for beer drinking (yeah, like we need an excuse…) and it doesn’t really matter that eventually [...]

Fashion Police: A Column From 2006

The Spanish Mullet, June 2006

It’s true, possums. It’s been a while since I touched on the delicate subject of hairstyles, and truth be told, I don’t really care so much. As long as it’s clean and cut according to some sort of logic by somebody who has held a pair of scissors before, what [...]

Cuentame: A Comic Series from 2005-2007

The Witch on the Bus, June 2006

English Teachers to Launch Rival Publication

QUETZALTANGO, JUNE – Exasperated by the pore quality of English language publishing in Xela, the Quetzaltenango English Teachers Association (QETA, for their initials in English) plan to launch their own magazine, XelaWhom.

The magazine will be an action-packed rollercoaster ride through such exciting fields as correct prepositional placement and verb agreements.

“What we is hoping [...]

If You Get Sick on a Sunday

By Mazz Sackson

It is true that for many people, Sunday is considered a day for relaxation. But only for people. Parasites and infections do not adhere to this day of rest. If you find yourself camped out in the bathroom expelling your insides on a Sunday, it may become necessary to take a more [...]

¿Qué Onda Vos? A Series on Speaking Guatemalan Spanish

“¿Qué onda vos?” is XelaWho’s a monthly guide to speaking Spanish Guatemalan style. This month we’re looking at funny expressions.

El que no llora, no mama LITERAL MEANING: He who doesn’t cry, doesn’t get breastfed. ACTUAL MEANING: You have to ask for something in order to get it.

[...]

Ask Dr. Sabelotodo: Xelaju

Dear Dr. Sabelotodo, I don’t get it. The road signs read “Quetzaltenango,” but everyone tells me I’m in Xela. But if I’m in Xela, then why is the city’s anthem called Luna de Xelajú? Where am I really? -Identity Crisis

Dear Identity Crisis, In Pre-Columbian times, the Mam indigenous group called the city “Xelajú,” which [...]