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XelaWho by Issue

Food in Xela: The Runs Down

We’ve all been there. That feeling as though a ball has just dropped inside your stomach. Time slows down. Conversations around you fade out to a background lull. Buttcheeks clench. Your mind becomes focused on a single objective: Must. Get. To. A. Toilet… Now. You stand up, garble some sort of excuse and make a […]

Billionaire Haemorrhoid Stops and Frisks Our Minds

By Anon

The first presidential debate between orange billionaire haemorrhoid Donald Trump and librarian from outer space Hillary Clinton was full of color. Perhaps most relevant for readers in Guatemala, “illegal immigrants” came up, when swollen cheesepuff Trump was discussing gun control. He said, “We have gangs roving the street. In many cases […]

The Celebrations of la Virgen del Rosario

By Diana Pastor

If you’re sad because the Independencia parties are over in party-capitol, Quetzaltenango, or if you couldn’t make it out, we have some good news for you. There are a bunch of festivals and holidays in Guatemala scattered through the last few months of each year, and here in Xela, we’re […]

Stuffed Plantain Boats

By La Salsa Inglesa

One thing I noticed cooking in Guatemala is that people tend to freak out if you stray from the accepted way of preparing ingredients or dishes. For example, a friend shouted at me for trying to boil rice (rather than frying it first) and I was told when attempting […]

Stuck in Xela

By Jalapeño Jacobo

Each month we send our field correspondent, Jalapeño Jacobo, to interview and harass one of Xela’s most infamous extranjeros to find out why the hell they’ve lived in Xela for so long (just kidding Xela, we love you.) This month we spoke to Colin Shadel, who is originally […]


With the highest number of Facebook users in Central America and a Twitter population growing by the thousands every month, social media can be a great place to find out what’s buzzing in Guatemala. Of course, there’s also a whole lot of nonsense posted online too, but at XelaWho we like nonsense so […]


P o p p i n g

Up, Up, and to Guate!

Tired of those grueling 4-hour bus trips to Guatemala City just to take a 6-hour flight back to North Dakota? Or perhaps you’re sick of missing your flight back to North Dakota because that 4-hour bus trip actually took you 8-hours […]