Fashion Police: A Column From 2006

Camel Toe, July 2006

Darlings, I’ve heard the whispers in the changing rooms out at La Pradera. I know the scuttlebutt, and it’s hurtful. Some unkind souls think that I’ve been too harsh on the tourists lately, and that we all have a cross to bear, fashion-wise. Fair enough. Here’s one for the Latinas, a little something we like to call…Camel Toe.

Girlfriends, don’t get me wrong. I’m not coming out against tight pants. Men and women all over the globe agree that one of nature’s delights is walking down the street behind some Sweet Young Thing and seeing a sight that reminds one of, as my father says, two puppies wrestling in a lycra sack.

Dear old dad. Such a way with words.

No, señoritas. I’d like to draw your attention to the frontal view of the setup for a moment. Now, the rule here is very simple. Feet, ankles, knees, legs – all these can be happily divided and distributed one per pants leg. Everything else? Well, let’s just say it’s best to maintain a united front.
Make no mistake. I’m not anti-labia. I’m pro-labia. Some of my best friends assure me that they are proud owners of perfectly functional sets. But that’s just the point. They spare me the details.

So, until next time, muchachas… how about a little breathing space downstairs? Some things really are best left a mystery until the second date.

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