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Fashion Police: A Column From 2006

The Reef Sandals With Socks Look, September 2006

A whole year has gone by, darlings, and what a fabulous year it’s been. Full of glamor and intrigue, juicy gossip and mischief. There have been fashion highlights and fashion lowlights… I like to think we’re improving, at the very least…
Now, I notice that on the 19th, this saucy little publication is throwing a gala soiree extravaganza. I want you to be on your best behaviours for the night, sugarplums, and when you’re frocking up in preparation for the Big Event to keep in mind all the invaluable wisdom I’ve been sharing with you over the months. Yes, you will have to shower and yes, you will have to get dressed in front of a mirror. And I certainly don’t want to see anybody sporting what, in moments of dread and nausea I refer to as…The Reef Sandals With Socks Look.

Sweetpeas, we are not in Florida and we are not, for the most part, retirees. I don’t care how Scandinavian you are, or claim to be, let me assure you that you have NO BUSINESS WHATSOEVER being out on the street wearing socks with your sandals.

Footwear is not like human sexuality, pumpkins. You can’t have it both ways. You have to wake up in the morning and make a choice. Need a little ventilation? Fine – go with the sandal. A little chilly out? No problem – go with the shoe.

Anywhere in between is a hideous abomination, and will not be tolerated.

And while we’re on the subject, let’s take a little peek at what’s going on on the dancefloors around town. Latin dance can be many things – stylish, hot, passionate. Equally, flip flops and reef sandals can be many things – comfortable, casual, relaxed. But I would like to point out that there is absolutely no overlap there, and the next time I see someone salsaing in flip flops, I’m not going to be responsible for the actions of my 9 inch stilettos.

OK. That’s it for me this month, snugglebunnies. Until next time, remember: Being fabulous starts from the ground up.

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