Happy Birthday to us! XelaWho turns the grand old age of 9 years old this month. That’s pretty good going, we’d say – if we were a dog we’d be 63 years old now, which is really old. But fortunately we’re not, so there’s still a good few more years of life to be squeezed out of us yet (we hope).
It is often said that with old age comes maturity and wisdom – but sadly neither of these things have yet to materialise at XelaWho, so you can rest assured that our ninth birthday is not going to lead to some sort of revelation or mid-life crisis in which we decide to bore the socks off you by filling XelaWho with actual serious content. You all have Revue Magazine for that.
A lot has happened since we started this modest magazine way back in 2005. So what better way celebrate our 9th Birthday Special Edition than by looking back at some of the highlights and lowlights of the past 9 years, both in Guatemala and across the world? We therefore present to you our definitively inconclusive list of “things that have happened since 2005”:
* 1.24 billion people have been born – equivalent to almost the entire population of China – while half a billion have died, leading to an increase of around 700 million people in the world’s population
* Guatemala won its first ever medal at the Olympics.
* Justin Bieber supposedly passed through puberty but somehow became even more irritating in the process.
* MySpace went from owning the internet (and terrorising the world with its nefarious “Top Friends” lists) to… sorry, what’s MySpace again?
* Poor old Pluto lost its status as a planet.
* YouTube was launched and has since grown to become the internet behemoth that it is today, with 100 hours of videos being uploaded to the site every minute, thereby facilitating trillions of hours’ worth of procrastination as people across the globe were provided the golden opportunity to stare at one video after another of cats doing amusing things.
* The iPhone was invented.
* Crazy Frog provoked at least several thousand violent rampages in various parts of the world.
* Tom Cruise lifted the veil and showed the world that he is in fact truly and utterly bonkers during his bizarre appearance on Oprah.
* Lionel Messie has scored 353 goals.
* Twitter was launched and with it came the hashtag revolution. #PerhapsTheMostAnnoyingDevelopmentOfTheLast9YearsIfNotEver
* Miley Cyrus went from being the epitome of innocence in Hannah Montana to twerking on stage with Robin Thicke whilst rubbing a gigantic foam hand between her legs.
* Wayne Rooney has grown hair, gone bald, purchased a hair transplant, and then gone bald again.
* The internet has provided us with such wonders as grumpy cat, LOLCats, Charlie bit my finger, Randall the Honey Badger, Good Guy Greg, the Double Rainbow and RickRolling.
* The Superchivos won the National League… twice!
* Water was discovered on the moon.
* The Mayan Calendar reached the end of its cycle and the world didn’t come to end, nor was it invaded by aliens – disappointing New Age hippies in all corners of the globe.
* Lady Gaga got up on stage wearing a dress of raw meat.
* North Korea accomplished the impossible and replaced their crazy dictator with an even crazier dictator.
* The Higgs Boson, aka The God Particle, was discovered.
Here’s to the next 9 years!