October 2010: Can This Dog Actually Talk?
It might have been the tequila doing its thing, or it might have been the “Tacos 4X10” that was dinner, but we swear on a whole stack of XW back copies that we saw the dog in the photograph talk.
As we were stumbling home it just so happened that the dog introduced itself as Joe Biden and then began to give us gambling tips. That very night we won Q2,400 off of the roulette table down at the Hiper casino. So, as you can see, we are very anxious to try and find this dog again.
Anyone who can send us a tip that helps us to find the dog in question will receive 15% of our gambling winnings and the eternal thanks of the XelaWho. Lest you think that we are “taking advantage of the situation” know that we are planning on opening up an NGO that will help to eradicate sobriety amongst XelaWho editors and contributors. (Just kidding—but only about the NGO—we plan on finding the talking dog and then getting hammered non-stop).
So, what should you do if you would like to cash in by finding our lost dog Joe Biden? Much like our search we highly recommend getting into an appropriate state before beginning your expedition. Any place that sells tacos 4X10 is good, 5X10 and you might start seeing in magical colors right then and there. Afterwards feel free to wander the streets yelling “Biden! Biden! Where are you?” This dog definitely speaks English, so no need to bring your language instructor along with you. Finally, make sure that you have doggie treats. This may be a magical fortune-telling dog, but it still loves its doggie treats.
Once you find the dog feel free to drop it off at one of our two editors’ houses. Specifically make sure to drop it off at editor Steve Mullaney’s house because in a recent XelaWho staff meeting he expressed a strong urge to adopt and care for “dozens upon dozens of neglected street dogs” and is redecorating his living room as a kennel. Feel free to show up at his house at any time—even 3 AM—his love for dogs knows no bounds.
Also, before you email and ask us, this is not a “practical joke on Steve”, rather a “heartfelt love of dogs, talking dogs, and caring for flea-ridden street dogs”. In order to hide the humanitarian that he is pretending to deny this. So, dear readers, remember: get loaded, find stray dogs, and give them to Steve at 3 AM. There is nothing that he would love more.