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World in Briefs

Here at XelaWho we take our hard hitting journalism seriously, which is why we scour the world for completely useless news- just another way we save you from having to waste your own valuable time on such pursuits.

Great Britain
A ‘‘temporarily overzealous profanity checker’’ was blamed for an online television guide that listed the movie Hancock as Han—-, the children’s show Dick and Dom as D— and Dom and soccer team Arsenal as A—nal.

United States
Which idea was worse? Using a stolen welfare benefits card to buy US$64 worth of canned soda or immediately feeding the still full cans into the supermarket’s automated redemption machine in order to receive the 5-cent can deposits? After doing both of the above, a Massachusetts woman has pleaded not guilty to theft charges.

Italy
Police stopped a driver who was spotted talking on two cell phones at once with no hands on the steering wheel. According to the man, he was talking to his wife when his mother called and he couldn’t hang up on either of them. He was issued a US$200 fine.

Sweden
After serving a two month jail sentence, a local man was released from jail in his underwear. Having outgrown the pants he was wearing when he entered prison and with not enough money to buy new pants, the man was forced to leave jail in only his shirt, socks, and underwear. Fortunately, he was not re-arrested for indecent exposure.

South Africa
Jail time for bad weather forecasts? That would be possible under a proposed law that only permits forecasts issued by the government’s South African Weather Service. Other unauthorized weather forecasters would be subject to a US$600,000 fine or 5 years in jail, with repeat offenders receiving double the penalties.

England
After spending 25 years stuck in a woman’s stomach, doctors were surprised to learn upon removal that a felt tip pen still worked. They wrote the word “hello” with the pen, which apparently had not been damaged by two and a half decades spent inside her stomach. No word on why the 76 year old woman had swallowed the pen in the mid-1980s or why it took her so long to have it removed.

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