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Race for the White House 2016 by Fathouse Productions

As the US presidential campaign grinds on, it reminds us why campaigns are now 18 months long: because they’re just so entertaining. If not, no one would pay attention. As of November 25th, 2015, Donald Trump remains the clear frontrunner among Republicans, with around 36% support. Much of his appeal ironically lies in voters’ mistrust of the sway millionaire and billionaire “donors” have over political candidates. Since 2010, it’s been legal for people and corporations to give unlimited amounts of money to groups supporting a political candidate, even though direct donations to candidates’ campaigns are capped at $2,600. Trump himself is a billionaire, so he can say what he thinks without worrying about big donors. People trust him. Further, he’s been a business man and recently a reality TV star for his entire career, and has never been a politician. With so many Republicans upset that Republicans in Congress occasionally let Obama do things, his outsider status helps him as much as it helped Jimmy Morales.

It also helps that the second-place Republican retired neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson, recently said, “My own personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids in order to store grain.” He cites the Old Testament story of Joseph, which holds that Joseph, having prophetically foretold a famine, advised the Egyptian Pharaoh to store grain. In November, Carson clarified his statements, after they were called silly. “Some people believe in the Bible like I do and don’t find that to be silly at all, and believe that God created the Earth and don’t find that to be silly at all. The secular progressives try to ridicule it every time it comes up and they’re welcome to do that.” Egypt’s antiquities minister Mamdouh el-Damaty responded, “Does he even deserve a response? He doesn’t.”

As for evolution, Carson said, “I personally believe that this theory Darwin came up with was something that was encouraged by the Adversary.” (That would be Satan). It’s important to note that in 2014, a Gallup poll found that 42% of Americans believe in creationism, the idea that the world is only several thousands of years old and was created by God more or less as it is now.

But Donald Trump also has regular awkward run-ins with facts. (See last month’s XelaWho for more on his statements about immigration from Latin America.) In 2009, Trump bought a Virginia golf course on Lowe’s Island, and shocked local conservationists by clear-cutting 400 acres of nearby forest to open up views of the Potomac River. He shocked no one when he renamed the golf course after himself. He also added a plaque by the river about a Civil War battle that reads, “Many great soldiers, both of the North and South, died at this spot. The casualties were so great that the water would turn red and thus became known as ‘The River of Blood.’” The Trump family crest follows (yup, they have one because he made it up), and before Mr. Trump’s name appears, the plaque says, “It is my great honor to have preserved this important section of the Potomac River.” When Trump was confronted with the fact that no Civil War historian thought anything ever happened near his golf course, he responded, “How would they know? They weren’t there.”

During preselection battles in centuries hence, the Trump v Carson match up will no doubt be touted as the greatest civil war bloodbath over grain storage there ever was.

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