While Guatemalans might live and breathe football (soccer, i.e. not the one with pads, helmets and tight spandex for you Americanos), the national football team has consistently disappointed on the world stage having never qualified for a World Cup. Things are looking up, however, with Guatemala taking down the Yankees at the end of March 2-0 in the first leg of the 2 match qualifying series. Guatemalans took to Twitter to unsubtly rub it in, with people competing on #VamosGuate for who could write the most “Os” in Goooooool! @AnFrO’sTh won the comp with an impressive 27 Os. This is not good news for Manuel Baldizon, 2015 Guatemalan presidential candidate and renowned Buddy Holly look-alike, who amazingly promised that if he won the presidency, Guatemala would qualify for the Football World Cup. ?He lost the presidential race but Guatemala may still yet qualify if they keep this up. Admittedly some aren’t so optimistic, like @superchapinGT who compared Guatemala’s chances of qualifying for the World Cup to believing in Santa Claus or the 3 wise men (see bottom right pic on the opposite page). Others, meanwhile were more than happy just to bask in the glory of the latest win, as @JocaSturban put it: “In your face YANKIS!!! #GuatemalaPower”.
It seems that everyone with a smartphone in Guatemala hopped online at #CasoLagoAmatitlán to celebrate Roxanna Baldetti, former vice president of Guatemala, and 14 others being sent to “preventative prison” ahead of the Casa Lago Amatitlán trials (see cover story). The gleeful uploading of about 1000 pictures of Roxanna looking glum (and some of her trying not to cringe while sniffing Amatitlán water – top left pic on opposite page) as she was sentenced continues the new wave of Guatemala social media activism that’s helping to break down the impunity long-enjoyed by Guatemala’s political and industrial Masters of the Universe.
And while most Guatemaltecos were out enjoying the sun during Semana Santa, many who were locked up at work or spring cleaning at home shared their sadness at #MiTristeHistoriaDe Verano (my sad summer story) including poor @Cherry who said that “Mi celular se arruinó, estoy gorda para el bikini y ando sin dinero” (my phone doesn’t work, I’m too fat for a bikini and I’m broke). Others were trying to make the best when not able to make it to the best including #andresttj who found a new use for his pila (outdoor sink – bottom left pic on the opposite page).
As if 140 characters was too much for the short-attention-spanned, Guatemalan Twitter lit up in March with people sharing their #HistoriaEn3Palabras (3 word story). Our favourite here at XelaWho was definitely the epic fail @ÓscarHerranz tweeted — “Oh the pin” referring to a pin put through a condom next to a note saying “have a safe weekend” (check out the top right pic on the opposite page).
And if there’s nothing else to piss off Guatemalans, it’s taxing imported chicken! People flocked (sorry) to #PolloTax to rant about the coming 13-15% price rise in Guatemala’s lunchtime staple fried chicken. As @MaykoAlonso tweeted “ALA Puta”.