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XelaWho by Issue

The Nightout Before Christmas!

Last month’s issue was just too jam-packed with hard hitting XelaWho brand journalism so we thought unspecifiedwe’d keep it light’n’easy this month with XelaWho HQ’s guide to surviving Christmas Xela-style to make sure the only turkey this Christmas is the one on your plate. If you’ve been in town for a little while, you may have realized that from mid-September on, Xela goes kinda nuts. Kicking off with months of marching band practice in every school in town, through Independence Week and then finishing up with Christmas and the New Year —this is certainly Xela’s craziest time of year. So if you don’t dutifully fly home see your family, keep your wits about you and enjoy the holiday season here in Xela!

This time of year, there is an endless series of unfathomable celebrations every weekend to celebrate this, that or the other. If you can work out when stuff is going on with any precision, please let us know and send us a job application. From fireworks by ye ol’ Gallo tree, to Christmas tasty pachas (spiced potato cakes that are steamed in banana leaves —basically the tastiest treat you’ll find in Xela) and the obligatory town trip to the lake for New Years Eve, it’s a magical time of the year.

Every year, most workplaces will also put on a convivio, the Guatemalan equivalent of an office Christmas party. Usually lavish affairs, many workplaces splash out of their convivio to appease the board of directors who take the convivios their chance to be thanked for having not resigned since the last convivio. So if you’re lucky enough to get invited to one, make sure you starve yourself for a few days beforehand so you can take advantage of the smorgasbord that your nonprofit probably spent 30% of their annual budget on and hit the open bar so you can impress your boss with all your incoherent rants about the moral complexities inherent to the development sector.

And as we do every year… the traditional recounting of that time Alex ruined Christmas… A couple of years ago, yours truly decided that a Santa-shaped piñata was the perfect addition to Christmas in Xela. After 20+ friends at various stages of inebriation and coordination tried to stab Santa open with a big spoon (tip: piñatas last longer if you use a spoon not a baseball bat) and not a single piece of candy had come out, one bright-spark realized that your faithful editor had forgotten to fill Santa with candy (in Guatemala, piñatas don?t come with candy, you need to put it in yourself). Even 5 years later the painful memories remain of a flaming Santa being shot with roman candles in the street by an angry mob of big-kids who missed out on their xmas candy.

And if you’d like to go sit on Santa’s lap and tell him how bad you’ve been, head down to McDonald’s by Parque Central and check out Santa’s December tour dates. A happy meal, Santa, commercialised Christmas, what more could you want?

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Xela! We’ll see you in 2017 —can you believe it’ll be 18 years since Blink 182 released Enema of the State..

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