The second trailer for the upcoming Star Wars film The Last Jedi dropped in October – briefly setting the internet on fire and leaving nerds worldwide divided on whether to slobber all over their keyboards with excitement or to publish cynical walls of text preemptively denouncing the film as bad and dumb.
Guatemala, of course, has cameoed in a couple of Star Wars films – the jungle temples of Yavin IV are actually the ancient Mayan city of Tikal, and Oscar Issac (who plays rebel ace Poe Dameron in the new series) was adopted as a baby from Guatemala. Taking these tenuous connections and running with them, Guatemalans lit up twitter with #sistarwarsfuerachapin— “yes, Star Wars was Guatemalan.” There were, of course, your typical digs at President Jimmy Morales, a man so dumb he might just have his dialogue scripted by prequel-era George Lucas. “Jar Jar Binks was played by @jimmymoralesgt,” according to @juanpablodardon.
On top of the political cracks were some astute observations about locations in Star Wars; @unponchoencima pointed out that Luke did his training in the steamy jungles of Masate, not Dagobah, and @N/A proposed that the cantina where Luke met Obi-Wan was in the capital rather than Mos Eisley. There were a whole mess of jokes about the capital, actually—turns out the Guatemala’s very own dystopian metropolis looks like a decaying science-fiction locale to more people than Xelawho’s editorial staff.
Jokes about Star Wars help to take everyone’s mind off of Guatemala’s roiling political crisis. One hashtag on Twitter last month was #depuracioncongreso, or “clean up Congress.” The chapin crusaders of Twitter have turned their attention to the villains of the day – the corrupt politicos of UNE and LIDER, who have allied with Jimmy Morales and his FCN cronies to try and throw out CICIG head Ivan Velasquez (read our last issue for a more complete breakdown of this situation). The big player stripped of his immunity this month was Aristides Crespo – former president of congress, member of PP and FRG, and part of the #pactodecorruptos. We’re hoping to see more action from these hashtags in the months to come.
There were plenty more serious hashtags, of course – if you’re interested in the ongoing fall of Guatemala City mayor Alvaro Arzu, check out #cajadepanadora – but in the spirit of silliness and irresponsibility we’re going to feature another dumb one instead. Xelawho presents a hashtag made for us if there ever was a one: #mihistoriadebolo, or “my drunken story.” We will present these without Twitter handles to protect the reputations and rap sheets of the not-so-innocent. One twitter user “got drunk and was locked overnight in the bathroom of a hostel in Antigua.” Another “climbed on a roof to rescue some cats who were stuck up there – while I was in my underwear.” A third fell asleep on a sidewalk while smoking a cigarette outside his friends house. A fourth fell asleep in the back of his car after totaling it while attempting to park.
There seems to be a theme here – drunk Guatemalans love to fall asleep in public. Anyone who’s been round the liquor store in Las Flores or who has walked from point A to B in Xela and found a sidewalk napper along the way knows this to be true. If you’re drunk and thinking about about falling asleep on the sidewalk, don’t tweet about it afterwards – contact us on Facebook. We think you might be a good fit for our editorial staff.