Chupa Sightings Haunt Xela

By Gina Spigarelli

The Latin American legend of the chupacabra (goat-sucker) is still alive and well in Guatemalan folklore.

First appearing in Puerto Rico, chupacabras were blamed for mysterious animal deaths. Upon discovery of the corpses, it appeared that the animals were drained of all their blood. Immediate hysteria ensued in the region. Sightings have been rare over the last few years, until recent weeks here in Xela, when the populus started noticing strange changes among the gringa population. Descriptions of the chupacabra vary country to country; some witnesses to the chupacabra´s killing sprees relate the beast to a gargoyle, others call him alien-like and many call him a type of kangaroo-dog.

While the stories of the chupacabra can be alarming, what with the glowing, red, paralyzing eyes and the hollow front teeth for sucking blood out of animals, this menace of the region has nothing on the hunter that explains the recent sightings in Xela. It appears, according to cryptozoologists, that the family lineage doesn’t end with the chupacabra. Apparently, the animal recently causing mass hysteria around Xela town wasn’t the chupacabra at all, but rather his demented cousin, the chupachava. The chupachava, like his feared cousin, is also a hunter. Feeding, particularly, on blonde haired and blue-eyed chavas. Sighted recently around town at such locations as internet cafes, benefit parties, and hostels, it seems the beast has honed his hunting skills to only include gringa-going locations. This menace should be considered an evolved version of his legendary cousin. His appearance doesn’t alarm his victims. He dresses well, as to not startle the blondies when appearing from dark corners. He lures the girls by speaking slowly and clearly in Spanish, and often, by offering them a Cuba libre or Gallo, to show his good nature. The dangers of these chupachavas, is, of course, obvious. Their recent explosion on the Xela scene and subsequent international media coverage has North American mothers with their panties in a bunch. “I read all the guide books,” one such mother related between sobs, “and never was this horror of a man mentioned. Had I known I was sending the twins into the danger of his clutches, I never would have financed their trip. Now they don’t want to come home!”

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