March 2010 Issue: Quirky Climate

Are you bummed you came to the tropics, only to find yourself feeling as 2010-56-march-covercomfortable as a clammy foot in a damp sock for 20 hours a day? Starting to envy the perfect climate enjoyed by Antigua’s legions of cappuccino-sipping faux-artiste baby-boomer yuppie ex-pats? OK, so maybe weather isn’t everything.

I admit I occasionally get a little ruffled about Xela’s climate, but I’ve come to accept that my cruel destiny is to live in places with goofy weather. Through no fault of my own I was born into the brutal climatic extremes of Wisconsin and Canada-tangent Minnesota, lovely places cursed with polar-bear-friendly winters that last forever and bikini-friendly summers that last a month. Later in life I got my winter in August. That’s the downside of living in San Francisco. You might have heard Mark Twain’s quip that the coldest winters he ever experienced were his summers in San Francisco. Of course Twain exaggerated for humorous effect, but the fact that you need gloves and parka on an August evening (in the Northern Hemisphere anyway) is inarguably messed up. When living there, I recall frequently pleading, “Please, sweet Jesus, let me put on shorts and feel hot and sweaty!” My prayer was answered only a handful of times. (Could it be punishment for all those atheist slackers in Haight-Ashbury?) Despite the local abundance of devout evangelical Christians, I receive the same punishment here in Xela, which is truly San Francisco’s meteorological soul mate. Though Xela lacks SF’s cool bridges and gay nude beaches, it has in common the mountain thing, the morning fog, the mid-day warm-up, i.e. the ‘gadzooks, today is going to be a hot day tease’, followed by the 3 o’clock fog and wind bank that’s accompanied by – BANG! – the sudden feeling you’re as cold as a dead ice fisherman in Edmonton. Nevertheless, chilled friend, you have reason to let your inner optimist run free because March is typically one of Xela’s warmest and driest months. (Your daily dose of rain comes later.) We recommend that you keep your expectations low and your shorts buried, and you might be pleasantly surprised to find a day when you can dig them out for a few hours. Also, count your blessings because if you were up this high (i.e. 2300 meters) nearly anywhere in Europe, Canada or the U.S., you would be wading through snow right now. (Did you know you can ski at Xela’s altitude just uphill from Los Angeles?) On second thought, maybe Xela’s weather isn’t so bad after all. Welcome to summer, Xela style! And finally, before sending you off to enjoy this issue of XelaWho, let me encourage you to check out the new It has every article we’ve ever written, our most up-to-date events calendar and lots of other goodies.

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