Stuff: Some of the information you just can’t do without, plus a whole lot of filler

Enough With the TXT Message Scams Already

If you have a cell phone then you likely receive an average of 47 text messages a day promising you backtones at 50% off, a daily Bible verse or hourly updates on the World Cup. While our employment-challenged city certainly needs all the help that it can get, I strongly doubt that enough jobs are created in the Spam SMS industry to make this a viable investment option (even including all the new psychiatrists who will need to counsel stressed out phone users).

We’ll be direct: the answer is NO.

NO, we don’t want to get  pickup lines sent to our inbox every day.

NO, we don’t want astrological advice that you clearly spent five minutes Googling (that’s our journalism technique, not yours)

NO, we don’t want to pay Q0.60/day—which adds up to be around Q20/month.  Good money that could otherwise be spent on beer.

After performing the abovementioned Googling technique ourselves we determined that there is a total lack of a do-not-call (or text) list in Guatemala.  This needs to change.

Readers, start writing to our elected diputados. Yes, Carlos Slim (owner of Claro and richest man in the world) has probably got most Latin American governments in his back pocket, but the power of the people will totally triumph over big business on this issue. (And if you believe that we have a Bridge for sale…)

POPPINGthumbs-up-poppping: WORLD CUP FINALS

Draw a great big X through your calendar on July 11th.  If you were caught unaware, this is the final of the World Cup—a day dedicated to football, and not much else—other than drinking.

At this point your XelaWho’s flawless prediction from the July issue, North Korea will not win, has come true—which has given us the chutzpah to offer up another bold prediction: Argentina 2, Brazil 1.

thumbs-down-flopping

FLOPPING: ICE-CREAM CONE BREAKAGE

Maybe it’s because we are just a little too excited for our daily ice cream cone (or perhaps it’s because our daily ice cream cone has caused us to gain 25 pounds that we’re not yet used to) but it seems like Xela had been experiencing a rash of ice cream cones that break as you eat them.

Clearly this is not the most pressing problem facing our fine city, but if I am enjoying my helado de vanilla galleta then I don’t want to have to cup it in my hands as I’m walking down the street.

C’mon Sarita, Pops & La Neveria, you can do better.  Let’s start seeing some sturdier cones.  We just might eat two a day.

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