Rasta Copkiller Denies Shooting Deputy

GUATEMALA, EVERYWHERE The entertainment world was rocked last month by reggae star Bob Marley’s startling confession of his involvement in the slaying of law enforcement officer John Brown.

Mr. Marley died in 1981, but left an eerie confession-from-beyond-the-grave which was broadcast last month in nearly every backpacker bar, restaurant and hostel in Guatemala.

XelaWho gained exclusive access to the recording and passed it over to our crack team of audio investigators. It appears that the murder was the result of a long-running feud between Brown and Marley.

“Sheriff John Brown always hated me” Mr. Marley is on record as saying, although he is unable to provide a reason for the initial animosity. It appears that hostilities then escalated in the form of an agricultural dispute. “Every time that I plant a seed, he say kill it before it grow.” Mr. Marley goes on to say.

Legal experts note that the recording lays the groundwork for various avenues of mitigation – most notably a claim of self-defense – although Marley admits that, if found guilty, he “will pay”.

While Mr. Marley’s prima facie confession – “I shot the Sheriff” leaves little doubt as to his complicity in the crime, he strongly denies having any part in the killing of an as-yet unnamed deputy.

XelaWho’s own team of legal analysts expressed little surprise at the recent revelations. “They should have known something like this was going to happen” a spokesperson said, “Anytime anybody appears in public in denim pants and a matching denim shirt, it should raise a big red flag right there.”

The recording has also been forwarded to the Los Angeles Police Department, who are investigating the possible link between it other entertainment-related copycat hate crimes targeting law enforcement personnel, specifically Bodycount’s 1992 ballad “Cop Killer” and N.W.A’s 1988 love poem “F**k the Police”.

XelaWho promises to stay on top of this breaking news story and bring you developments as they come to hand.

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