Happy Birthday To Us! XelaWho Turns 6
If you were expecting a celebration like last year, however, you’ll be sadly disappointed. In 2010, for our 5th anniversary we went all out and spent a bunch of money we didn’t have. You should have been there: we had a parade with 10 elephants, a music festival, and then we barbequed the elephants. As a result of our actions we caused the majestic Guatemalan Highland Elephant, to go extinct—but you only get one 5th anniversary, might as well bring about the extinction of an endangered species. Also, the commemorative ivory tusk statuettes that all of the writers got were well received.
Now that it is our 6th anniversary, the party is going to be much more subdued. Instead of throwing a party we will be giving away Tortrix. If you think you will be getting your own bag of Tortrix you are wrong. We are giving away individual chips. And only the chicharron flavor. We hope that’s OK. The economy is in something of a rough spot and we are still trying to figure out how to pay the legal fees associated with last year’s celebration.
It has been a great year for innovation at XelaWho. Among other things, we are now published in color (yay!), our amazing new fold out map has all kinds of great info—including a walking tour of Xela, and we finally decided to discontinue the controversial section, “Scenic Places To Get Mugged In Xela”. Folks who want suggestions on where to turn for a romantic sunset mugging will have to turn to our archives, which are all available online at xelawho.com.
It is now the time where we thank our readers for making us the #1 nightlife and culture magazine in all of Xela. We are very pleased that so many people pick up our free magazine. The price always was and always will be Q0.00, but if you’d like to give us some money for our troubles we definitely wouldn’t say no.
A lot of people (mostly just our Moms) have been asking us what is in store for your XelaWho in its 6th year. We are very proud to say that we are experimenting with a scratch and sniff section. Reporter Diana Pastor is working on a hard-hitting article on raw sewage and have found some smells they would love to share with our readers. Also, more jokes, insider info and the best events section around.