World in Brief

Here at XelaWho, we take our half-assed journalism very seriously. Which is why we spend five minutes a month searching for news you can barely use.

Denmark

The country imposed a fat tax on all products containing saturated fats (including items such as butter, milk, meat, and frozen pizza). In addition to massive hoarding in advance of the tax’s imposition, the law caused a bureaucratic nightmare as producers and retailers scrambled to restock shelves with the newly priced items.

Poland

Burglars breaking into a building opposite the police canteen were arrested when police officers chowing down sent a cell phone video to their colleagues next door. Why the officers didn’t interrupt their meal to arrest the burglars themselves remains unexplained.

Austria

Beneful brand dog food has launched the first television commercial designed specifically to appeal to canines. After consulting with pet behavior experts, the commercial was aimed to entice dogs with high-pitched whistles, which can’t be heard by most humans, and an audible squeaks that mimic pet toy sounds.

Switzerland

Mistaking a slipway for the entrance to an underground garage, a drunk driver attempted to park his car in a river. After realizing that something had gone amiss he left the vehicle behind and walked home. He was arrested the next morning when he came back for the car- while still drunk.

United States

After getting lost in a corn maze a family called the police for assistance, taking advantage of the department’s “We want to be bothered” motto. After arriving, a police officer and his dog were able to successfully locate the family- who were just 25 feet inside the maze.

United States

Two game wardens in Alabama have capitalized on their professional expertise to sell ammunition made of cremated human remains to the deceased’s family, who can then fire off the rounds. One warden admitted that such a product might sound strange for those not used to guns but noted that ‘‘but for those who are, it’s not weird at all’’!

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