Why is this Popular? Talking about the Weather
By Steve Mullaney
After football, the most popular sport in Xela is “Talking About The Weather.” The populace is blessed with an internal thermometer that is never satisfied. While folks are usually too cold, they will sometimes take a break to be too hot. This constant discomfort means that folks are unusually well prepared to go on and on about how they are currently suffering…but why exactly is talking about the weather such a popular thing to do? This month’s WITP takes on the wind and the rain.
1. Spies. We’ve all seen enough James Bond films to know that the way that spies greet each other is with an elaborate code. “I’m really cold” is actually code for “The target has been spotted.” And “It was cold yesterday as well” is actually code for “The mission is a go.” Also, due to some folks not getting the memo about the Cold War being over, 96% of the population is a spy.
2. People here just really, really like the weather. If you have ever walked into a bar or a cantina you will see hundreds of eyes glued to the Weather Channel. Folks here go particularly wild when there is a cold front coming in or days that are partly cloudy. The traditional “Dance of the Partly Cloudy Sky” is done to celebrate such a day.
3. Secret contests. Folks are actually playing a game with you. The person who talks to you about the weather the greatest number of times wins Q100.
4. Keeping spirits up. Between corrupt politicians, the ongoing lack of security and a poor economic outlook, the mudslides that destroyed the country are actually the least depressing current event- along with Kevin Cordon’s gold medal in badminton…but you can only talk about badminton for so long.
Ultimately, talking about the weather is one of those cultural experiences that you should make sure to take advantage of. The next time you’re outside of Xela folks will want to know if you climbed Volcan Santa Maria, sampled the local coffee and talked about the weather. Make sure you’re doing your part by pitching in and talking about being cold to everyone you know.
(A note from Steve: After over three years of writing for XelaWho, this is my final issue as a regular columnist. The “Why is this Popular?” column will live on as I pass the reins to the very funny Jed Herrmann. It’s been a blast writing and a very fond farewell to the city that sometimes sleeps.)