How to Trick Someone into Loving You

By Diana Pastor

In February it is popular to celebrate the cultural (and commercial) phenomena that is St. Valentine’s Day, or as it is more popularly known el Dia de Carino-oddly Google translates this as “honey day” which could probably be a whole column in itself. But we’ll focus here on a more practical (at least for our readers) aspect of the day, specifically: how to get a Chapin or Gringo to be your valentine. You’ve probably been wondering how you can get that special someone to see your charms; well here are some of the secrets.

To get a Guatemalan as your valentine:

1. According to our interviews, an important key is “Do not think your culture is superior to ours, only different.” Others suggested focusing on the good things in Guatemala such Cabro and Quetzalteco Especial (both can be useful in helping to increase your attractiveness should need be.)
2. While Chapines can be clingy, don’t worry, only a few are desperately seeking marriage to a foreigner. Really they just want nice stable relationships with dependable people. So don’t aim for a one night stand, unless you happen to run into one of the mythical gringo hunters who just want adventure…
3. Answer their questions. In addition to sharing their culture, they want to know about yours. So don’t be surprised to hear lots of questions about your culture, your country, your family, your city, your culture, your country….
4. According to former President Alvaro Colom’s farewell speech, 6 out of 10 Guatemalans gave perfumes last Christmas (how he knows that we have no idea). Therefore, the most attractive foreigners are those that care for their personal appearance (and their bathroom should it get to that stage).
And what about grabbing a gringo?
1. If foreigners are here it is probably because they like to be a little different. So being unique is a key. Boys, that means hair with a whole bottle of gel and pants halfway down aren’t going to win you lots of points.
2. Jealous boyfriends and girlfriends are a problem. Girls: snooping on a guy’s cell phone is in bad taste.
3. Great language skills aren’t required but just knowing the international language of love probably isn’t going to be enough. So it may be worth learning a few words of English (or French if that’s your thing).
4. Look for people with similar interests. So let that hottie know if you play an instrument, participate in a charity, play sports or travel; maybe they like the same things.

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